In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter, oil, and sugar together until light and fluffy, about 2–3 minutes. This will create a smooth, airy base for the cake.
Add the egg whites one at a time, beating well after each addition. This helps to incorporate air into the batter, ensuring a light texture.
Mix in the vanilla extract and coconut extract (if using), which will infuse the cake with a delightful flavor.
Alternately add the dry ingredients and the coconut milk to the wet ingredients, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined. Be careful not to overmix, or the cake will be dense.
If using, fold in the shredded coconut for added texture. This will give the cake a lovely coconut flavor and slight chew.
Divide the batter evenly between the three prepared pans. Bake for 22–26 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Let the cakes cool completely on wire racks before assembling.
Make the pineapple jam filling:In a saucepan, combine the crushed pineapple (with juice), sugar, and lemon juice. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, for about 5–7 minutes, until the mixture starts to thicken and the pineapple softens.In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch and water to form a slurry. Stir this into the pineapple mixture and cook for another 1–2 minutes, or until the filling thickens to a jam-like consistency.
Remove from heat and let the pineapple filling cool completely. It should have a spreadable consistency, not runny.
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