Grandma Rose used to say that some truths fit better when you’re grown enough to carry them.
“You’ll wear this someday, darling,” Grandma told me.
“Grandma, it’s 60 years old!” I said, laughing a little.
“It’s timeless,” she corrected, with the kind of certainty that made arguing feel pointless. “Promise me, Catherine. You’ll alter it with your own hands, and you’ll wear it. Not for me, but for you. So you’ll know I was there.”
I promised her. Of course I did.
I didn’t understand what she meant by ‘some truths fit better when you’re grown.’ I just thought she was being poetic. Grandma was like that.
“You’ll alter it with your own hands, and you’ll wear it.”
I grew up in her house because my mother died when I was five, and my biological father, according to Grandma, had walked out before I was born and never looked back. That was the sum total of what I knew about him.
Grandma never elaborated, and I’d learned young not to push, because whenever I tried, her hands would go still and her eyes would go somewhere else.
She was my whole world, so I let it be.
I grew up, moved to the city, and built a life. But I drove back every weekend without fail because home was wherever Grandma was.
She was my whole world.
And then Tyler proposed. Everything became the brightest it had ever been.
Grandma cried when Tyler put the ring on my finger. Full, happy tears, the kind she didn’t bother wiping because she was too busy laughing at the same time.
She grabbed both my hands and said, “I’ve been waiting for this since the day I held you.”
***
Tyler and I started planning the wedding. Grandma started having opinions about every detail, which meant she called me every other day. I didn’t mind a single call.
Four months later, Grandma Rose was gone. She was well into her 90s.
“I’ve been waiting for this since the day I held you.”
A heart attack, quiet and fast, in her own bed. The doctor said she wouldn’t have felt much.
I told myself that was something to be grateful for, and then I drove to her house and sat in her kitchen for two hours without moving because I didn’t know what else to do.
Grandma Rose was the first person who’d ever loved me unconditionally and without limit. Losing her felt like losing gravity, like nothing would stay in its place without her underneath it all.
A week after the funeral, I went back to pack up her belongings.
Losing her felt like losing gravity.
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